I ate some fruit for lunch
And now I hate myself for eating at all.
- How many calories are in a banana?
- I really should stop taking sugar in my coffee
- I’m glad this dress still fits, but I look bloody fat
- My hair isn’t curly enough today
- I actually despise editing, even though it’s one of my favourite things to do
- I am a bit of a contradiction
- Why don’t the Dutch have a word for ‘fuck’?
- I have four weeks to lose 20 lbs
- When the fuck did I become (re)obsessed with my weight?
- Oh yeah, when I realised all the girls I know are skinny as fuck and I look huge next to them
- Wow my self-esteem is non-existent today
- I’ve spent a lot of time looking at blogs that are telling me to starve myself
- I might already be sort of doing that
- Why do I even try?
- I mean seriously, why?
- Okay, I give up
- I’m kind of depressed
- I should really start taking those pills again
- But I’m actually terrified that I’ll gain weight with them
- Or maybe I’ll go the whole ‘no appetite’ route and I’ll feel better
- I really need to write a kick ass cover letter
- And start getting rid of my stuff
- Cause I need to vacate my apartment in like 3 weeks
- And I need to work
- And also find a new job, like, yesterday
- And find another place to live for three weeks
- And figure out what I’m going to do on the 1st of July
- And try not to kill myself because I hate uncertainity
Haha, every time I say I am done with this, someone I care about gives me a number. This is (probably) the last one. I mean it!
You are just a neat person. I hope you appreciate the complexity of you. Your life would make a great book, an epic movie. It’s sad and hard to get through and uplifting at times and — ultimately — not even finished yet. That’s the most exciting part! If you were a play, this is just Act 1. You have tremendous potential and a future full of way more smiles than you’ve had so far. Every day that is hard, take pride in the fact that you’ve come so far, when many others — including me — would’ve broken a long time ago. Every success from here out will taste sweeter, because your past has given you an appetite for what is good and just in life.
Keeping this because sometimes I need a reminder. Especially today.
davidwduffy replied to your photo “A mandatory #selfie. I’m dying a little bit, hopefully pizza will make…”
Of all the girls (and guys!) I’ve ever met, you still have the best hair. By a long shot.
Awww thanks love!